Are You Wearing Too Many Hats?
You’ve got your parent hat, your work hat, your teacher hat, your friend hat, your sister hat, your coach hat, your babysitter hat, your partner hat… the list goes on, and looks different for everyone. But one thing is the same for most of us. We’re being asked to wear a lot of hats and it may feel unwise, negligent or impossible to say “No thanks, I’ve already got too many”.
Though the truth remains, you simply cannot wear them all. At least not for long. Either you’ll fall over or your hats will fall off (trust me, I know from experience). But which ones do you wear and which ones do you hang up? Can someone else wear your hat for you? Or at least hold it for a little while? These are the questions we keep asking ourselves and summer won't magically bring the answers.
The tough answer is, you’ll need to decide which hats to keep wearing and which you’ll take off.
When I was in grad school, I was also working full time, had an obnoxious commute (1 hour each way), and was newly married. My neck was seriously straining from all the hats on my head. I had on my student hat, my administrator hat, my wife hat, my chef hat, my friend hat, my daughter hat, my sister hat, my household manager hat, and so on. They all felt important, so I tried to walk slowly and keep them all balanced on top of my head. You'll be shocked to hear, it didn't go so well. Hats fell off and I didn't even notice it. Relationships were strained and the quality of my work suffered. My mental and physical health wasn't great either.
My hats are different now, but I'm facing a similar challenge - and my guess is you are too. I'd rather not repeat the same mistakes, so here is how I'm approaching my "too many hats" problem today.
First, I took a look in the mirror to figure out how many hats I was actually wearing. Then, I asked myself these questions:
How important is this hat?
Do I like wearing this hat?
Is this hat important for my (or my family’s) financial well being?
Is this hat important for my (or my family’s) emotional and/or physical well being?
What would happen if I didn’t wear this hat for a while? Am I okay with the long and short term impact of that decision?
Is there someone who could wear this hat for me (even if temporarily)?
After an initial run through of these questions, some hats were easy to toss aside. For other hats, it was a tough call and required some deep reflection (and I'm still on the fence about a few ). Keeping some of these hats on involved other people’s needs so I included them in the conversation. Don’t be shy about including others in this process. But ultimately, it's important to remember that you’re in charge of the hats you put on your head - however many you decide to wear, and for however long.
Image credit: Zazzle.com, Chuck Ink
